The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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