It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize