I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
