at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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