Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
