so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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