The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
