The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize