he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize