My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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