So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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