Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
