Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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