like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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