i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
smell my finger.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize