Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
