just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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