Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
