Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Randomize
