so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
