I will die if light touches me.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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