I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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