She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
