Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.

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  (310): i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin. http://tfl.nu/cawx
  Replies (3) Good night (1563) Bad night (629)
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  (760): View more from California

  my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...

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  (760): my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg... http://tfl.nu/gr75
  Replies (33) Good night (8148) Bad night (950)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.

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  (703): the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week. http://tfl.nu/6di3
  Replies (17) Good night (4218) Bad night (1199)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.

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  (404): Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon. http://tfl.nu/d58s
  Replies (39) Good night (9392) Bad night (1442)
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  (914): View more from New York

  she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"

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  (914): she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it" http://tfl.nu/fy2z
  Replies (41) Good night (14051) Bad night (1706)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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  (+44): Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far" http://tfl.nu/vzxo
  Replies (7) Good night (4525) Bad night (1075)
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  (949): View more from California

  he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"

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  (949): he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say" http://tfl.nu/b497
  Replies (7) Good night (2657) Bad night (1762)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.

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  (443): dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice. http://tfl.nu/lkbh
  Replies (5) Good night (2130) Bad night (1117)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.

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  (917): hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog. http://tfl.nu/99w0
  Replies (9) Good night (2054) Bad night (755)
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  (805): View more from California

  I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka

  (714): View more from California

  I could

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  (805): I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka (714): I could http://tfl.nu/hbcr
  Replies (7) Good night (1115) Bad night (509)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  if not i want to bang those glasses off his face

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  (828): does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you? (828): if not i want to bang those glasses off his face http://tfl.nu/l0mr
  Replies (4) Good night (1520) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever

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  (650): You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever http://tfl.nu/tk1a
  Replies (4) Good night (2015) Bad night (465)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night

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  (860): I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night http://tfl.nu/320l
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (752)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you

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  (814): I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you http://tfl.nu/g34j
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis

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  (706): Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis http://tfl.nu/aucp
  Replies (3) Good night (494) Bad night (119)

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