she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
false alarm. still invincible.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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