Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(817): View more from Texas

Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...

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(817): Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch... http://tfl.nu/5oqr

Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (829)
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(239): View more from Florida

so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...

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(239): so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM... http://tfl.nu/hm43

Replies (33) Good night (917) Bad night (3166)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song

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(847): i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song http://tfl.nu/7299

Replies (48) Good night (1368) Bad night (5052)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.

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(403): Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now. http://tfl.nu/qiaj

Replies (40) Good night (8957) Bad night (821)
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(650): View more from California

I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.

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(650): I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats. http://tfl.nu/rm40

Replies (42) Good night (14450) Bad night (1052)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..

(313): View more from Michigan

I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..

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(313): I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together.. (313): I can't decide if I actually want to know or not.. http://tfl.nu/mkwc

Replies (18) Good night (1055) Bad night (4680)
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(443): View more from Maryland

its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike

(303): View more from Colorado

you still have morals?

(443): View more from Maryland

Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole

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(443): its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike (303): you still have morals? (443): Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole http://tfl.nu/6ecs

Replies (46) Good night (9927) Bad night (1681)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"

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(615): She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits" http://tfl.nu/yc53

Replies (9) Good night (2946) Bad night (1185)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.

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(423): This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are. http://tfl.nu/kzc0

Replies (8) Good night (2585) Bad night (977)
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(316): View more from Kansas

This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.

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(316): This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python. http://tfl.nu/dk7h

Replies (20) Good night (2576) Bad night (725)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar

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(403): there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar http://tfl.nu/sljc

Replies (13) Good night (1448) Bad night (592)
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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads

(1-787): View more from Puerto Rico

Croutons?

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(787): He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads (1-787): Croutons? http://tfl.nu/yr5t

Replies (3) Good night (1653) Bad night (475)
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(406): View more from Montana

I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open

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(406): I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open http://tfl.nu/p54l

Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (360)
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(831): View more from California

Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here

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(831): Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here http://tfl.nu/u7a6

Replies (3) Good night (510) Bad night (370)
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(309): View more from Illinois

But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.

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(309): But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed. http://tfl.nu/e00m

Replies (11) Good night (333) Bad night (486)

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