Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I've blown a few things in my day
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.