I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
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our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.