Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
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I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
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Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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