He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
