Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
