is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
