Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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