I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
