He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
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it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
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I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize