i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
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He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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