Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
