i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
