We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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