We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You ate ashes out of my bong
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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