I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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