So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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