U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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