question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
