Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize