I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
