It's Friday. Sex?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
