She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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