guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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