so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
