Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
