how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
