so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
