Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
