You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
