Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
