It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
