Christians are straight up FREAKS
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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