If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
