i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
