Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
