plz talk dirty to me
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
