Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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