i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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