Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
