you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
