I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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