It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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