I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he puts the penis in happiness.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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