I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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