He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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